Facing Realities

Being thirtysomething is mostly interesting, some times difficult, and always a wild ride. I gave up posting regularly because living life got in the way. I have realized I am mostly a random blogger and I am fine with that reality. I would rather live life than write about it...some days. Blogging does allow me to sit back and think about the realities of my life though. For instance, the reality that my daughter does not need me in the same way that she did when she was younger is hitting me hard lately. Another reality is that try as I might to turn a job into something great, sometimes a job is just a job. Reality is always there, but sometimes we choose to ignore reality when we get scared. The reality that I am aging scares me. The reality that I am losing my dad much more quickly than I am prepared for is a really sad and sucky (yes, that is a word) fact. It is probably this reality that makes me bury my head in the sand like an ostrich. Facing realities of loss are very difficult and require an iron stomach. I always thought I was such a strong person, but lately it just seems like someone keeps punching me in the stomach just when I catch my breath. I think the thing that makes me the most upset about this is that I somehow get the feeling that this is just part of getting older. I think the aging process is difficult, but the loss factor is WAY hard. Nothing prepares you. I guess the best you can hope for is the newly found wrinkles and signs of aging represent a life well lived.