Winds of Change

I got laid off today. Yep, I sure did. I wish I had some eloquent verbiage about how life brings us challenges we can meet and excel at and life is grand. I have not found the silver lining yet. I know it is probably very selfish of me to write about this and I am sure that there are alot of people that are much worse off than I am in this economy. However, I cannot help but take it very personally. I did a good job. I did what was asked of me and more. This does not change the fact that I feel personally insulted by this little setback in my career. To be honest, something broke inside of me today. Something deep, something I have always prided myself in attaining...which are basic employment and the ability to provide for my family. It is funny to me that I keep telling everyone that I will be fine. The truth is that I don't know if I will be fine. I don't know what life has in store for me. I don't know much of anything except that I am unequivocally scared. Scared like I have never been before. I guess that is ok too. I am blessed to have family and friends that are so amazing and supportive. I am blessed that I have a couple of weeks to search for the next job. I am blessed that I have come this far in life without worrying about where my next paycheck will come from. It would be a mistake to assume that because I know I am blessed that it makes the pain of the news today any less. Soon, I will be applying for jobs that 100 other people are applying for, I will be worrying about how to keep some sort of health insurance for my daughter, I will be trying to find fun things to do for free, and I will be one of millions that feel the effects of the recession. I have become a number today. I found a quote that captures how I feel about today. It states, "We change, whether we like it or not." There is nothing glamorous about my life, there is nothing that makes me feel like I stand out in a crowd, and there is nothing that can change the fact that I am now jobless. I am thirtysomething that is experiencing what hundreds of others have already felt the sting of....losing a part of themselves and becoming a statistic. The winds of change have blown and have left a trail of dust in their path. I have no choice but to change and move with the winds...