Perfect in Another Life

Every morning I'm struggling
Trying to figure out where I fit in
It doesn't make much sense but I have to roll with it
Look in the mirror and see my face
but something always seems out of place
has my reflection just runs away from me
If only I could dig deep inside
If only I could I could fly twice as high
If only I could be free
If only I could just give it time
If only I could learn from my life
I would see I'm happy with me
And I'll be perfect, perfect

I'm gonna get it right
I'll be perfect…perfect in the next life

I know you might criticize

And maybe even fantasize

About what I’d be like if I were different

I don’t really think that it’s fair, but most people out there don’t care

I gotta make it up as I go along

By Reddi

Every once in a while you find a song that you play over and over again because there is just something about it. The lyrics, the beat, or perhaps it is the memories it triggers. “Perfect” is one of those songs for me. I cannot stop listening to it.

Unemployment has a way of making you feel rather imperfect. Being a mom has a way of making you feel rather imperfect. I think it is the little things each day that can make one feel imperfect…the way a cup drops to the floor and shatters, the slamming of a door after a fight, an unexpected diagnosis, a sick child, burning dinner, or a new wrinkle in the mirror. While none of these things individually cause us to contemplate how seriously imperfect our lives are, a couple of them occurring in one day can trigger some serious self examination over a glass of wine. I think most people have days, perhaps even years, they wish they could redo to make them a little more perfect. What does it all mean? Why do we wish we were perfect? Why do we always create more goals for ourselves, even after attaining something pretty fabulous? If we finally did attain everything we set out to do and could truly be “perfect” tomorrow, would we be happy?

Happiness. I recently read that over the past 40 years more than 1.3 million people have been surveyed (U.S. and abroad) on happiness (Results reported by Marcus Buckingham). The results are astounding: greater educational, political, and employment opportunities have corresponded to decreases in life happiness for women, as compared to men. Buckingham goes on to state that one of the reasons this trend is occurring is the additional responsibilities women place on themselves…or in other words, their need to be perfect to everyone all the time. Women are treated more equally in the workplace than years ago, we pursue greater educational attainment, and balance crazy levels of responsibility; we seem to be stunted on our pursuit of happiness or a happy life. It seems that we have somehow forgotten that for something to be “perfect”….it has to include some level of happiness as well.

I have struggled so hard to come this far in life, yet perfection eludes me. As this thirtysomething makes it through this life, certain truths still help me face my reflection in the mirror each day. Truth #1: Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance at….everything. Truth #2: Asking for help does not equal defeat. Truth #3: My friends and family love me for who I am…flaws and all. Truth #4: I am harder on myself than anyone else can ever be and sometimes I just need to find the good in me. Truth #5: I am not perfect. Truth #6: I will never be perfect. Truth #6: To get it right, I just need to be me. The real beauty in all of my imperfection is that it has made me who I am. Yes, the klutz that walks into most stationary objects, the mom that sometimes forgets to tell her daughter to bring an umbrella, the person that got laid off, the daughter that should call her parents more often, the sister that doesn’t tell her brothers how much she loves them and misses them, the girlfriend that is always asking a million questions….all of that imperfection and more. What I realized while contemplating this subject is that the only person that actually expects me to be perfect is me. While I strive to be a better person every day, it is the struggle that makes me better. While these truths may be pretty basic, I wish I could remember these simple truths every day. I think it would be wonderful for just one day, even one moment, to embrace imperfection and just be happy with me.

“Perfection I may not be, but I will always, always be me.”