Trapped on the Trolley

As I was researching trolley rides for an upcoming trip to San Francisco, I came upon a website for San Francisco Cable Cars. On the home page, a picture of a red cable car with little destination placards next to it appeared. I immediately burst into laughter (more on this later). The intent is for the reader to select their placard of choice and learn more about that specific item (such as routes and maps). Indeed, the site even had a little note "Learn more about San Francisco's cable cars before you ride." To this, I almost fell off of my chair I was laughing so hard. I noticed one placard in particular...it was for the Rider's guide & etiquette booklet. Now, to any average person this would seem like a reasonable and probably very helpful placard. For me, it represented my last utter failure in an attempt to ride a cable car. Let me rewind.......

While in graduate school, I met one of my friends named Carol. For some reason, we seem to get into the most trouble together. In fact, she calls me "Lucy" and I call her "Ethel" because we have had so many “Lucy and Ethel" type of moments. The cable car story is just one of many! However, I digress. This particular story took place in Orlando Fl at an international conference we were attending for our graduate work. One of the first nights we were there, we decided to go out and do some exploring (i.e...shopping). Outside of our hotel, a cable car service specializing in "complementary scheduled transportation" was like a dream come true. We could literally hop on and off at our destination of choice. Right. Well, all was progressing nicely in the "exploring" venue (I found the cutest shoes!). After several hours of "exploring" we decided we couldn't carry anymore bags and we should head back to the hotel for some R&R. We boarded the cable car and began the ride back. We were four or five stops into the ride when it started to get rather crowded in the cable car. Carol and I stood up to let some of the older folks sit and rest. Now, one might assume that cable cars are rather fluid and a nice smooth ride....hardly. This particular one felt like we were creating a new dance move called the jerk. As we both tried to grab onto something to prevent falling into one of our cable car neighbors, I grabbed a cord that looked like it was attached to the ceiling. Perfect. The cable car came to a screeching halt and sat there as the driver announced “E5 stop.” We assumed it was a random stop as we hadn't done any research on stops or other rider's etiquette. After a few moments (no one got on or off), we were back on the course to the hotel. I felt so lucky to have such a good hold on the cord, it definitely helped to stabilize me when we hit a bump. Carol and I noticed that the cable car seemed to be making several with the same “E5 Stop” notification, and I mean several stops. Finally, she realized what I was holding on to and she started to laugh hysterically. "Lucy, let go of the alert cord." It appeared that in my haste to grab something to hold on to, I had grabbed the cord that alerts the driver that a passenger wants to get off of the car. Apparently all of those stops were for me. How embarrassing. I wish the funny story ended there, but it doesn't. Now, as we progressed along the route, I couldn't remember the name of the stop for our hotel. Carol couldn't either, which I think it completely understandable after our marathon shopping experience. However, we were completely guessing at which stop to exit the cable car. She finally said, "I think this is it, we should try this one." I told her that I thought it was one more yet. We decided to wait until the next stop, figuring we could just walk back if we went past the hotel. As the cable car flew past our hotel, we looked like kids at Christmas...our noses pushed up against the glass with looks of longing on our faces. As the cable car kept going and going and going, we realized with a sick feeling that our hotel was the last stop before the cable car went to all of the Disney World attractions. Fabulous. What to do? We decided that we would just have to ride it out. We would ride the cable car to the end of the line and then just circle back around to the hotel eventually. Great plan. Around 2+ hours later, we finally arrived at the last stop. I almost cried. My arms were killing me, my feet were killing me, I was hungry, and I felt like I was on Survivor: Disney World. I HATE survivor. The only good thing I could think of in that moment was that I would finally have a seat again. We sat down gratefully. We sat there for a moment or two, until we notice the driver glaring menacingly at us. He said, "You have to get off now. This is the last stop." Carol tried to explain that we had missed our stop and we would just like to sit here and ride the cable car back to our hotel. Thank you very much. Apparently the cable car driver hadn't had his happy pill for the day (you can't really blame him...screaming kids, crabby parents, and Disney music all day every day). He said again, "You have to get off now." Well! I wasn't about to get off now. I said, "Sir, we are going to stay on until the (insert name of hotel here)." He said in an increasingly higher pitched voice, "You have to get off now. I like to take my breaks alone." With that, we realized that the cable cars do not just circle endlessly. This would be a great time to point out the usefulness of reading the Rider's guide & etiquette booklet. Needless to say, we had to exit the cable car; heads hung low, and wait for the next returning cable car. I think we finally made it back to the hotel by midnight. After a day or two of recovery, we finally were able to stop laughing. I have to admit, even writing this, I laughed out loud thinking about the panicked look on Carol's face when realized we were "trapped on the trolley." Now, most people might assume that I would read the Rider's guide & etiquette booklet for my upcoming trip to San Francisco after that experience. However, I would not trade that experience for the world. I have a memory that will be with me forever, a friendship that deepened due to experiencing a traumatic event together, and a funny story to share with all of you. Mostly, I am so grateful for a friend that can laugh it up with me after an experience like that one. I think a quote from Lucy and Ethel capture the essence of that trip and many more memories like that one:
Lucy: "I have a plan."
Ethel: "I'm still recuperating from your last plan."

To Ethel: thank you for sticking with me in the good times and the bad and for helping me do the “splainin” when needed.