Goal-Doubts=Reality

My legs hurt. In my never ending attempt to lose weight and become more fit, I have started to run 4 miles a couple of times per week. This is in addition to going to the gym every day. Yes, I might be slightly nuts, but the gym has become a habit and something the bf and I do together. I just feel "off" all day if I don't go in the morning. The running is just something to increase my cardio and possibly cause me to lose all sanity. Yesterday, I ran at 4am. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and went for a run. I saw deer...multiple deer on the path that I run on each morning. There is something seriously wrong with seeing nocturnal animals while you are out for your morning jog. As I was entering mile 3, I started to reflect on WHY I was doing this...my knees hurt, my thighs hurt, and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I must have some sort of sadistic part of my personality to hate running so much but still do it every other day. That being said, it is all in an attempt to reach a goal. I decided last Christmas that I wasn't getting any younger and I have no excuse for not being in the shape of my life. So, hence the gym, the running, and the pain. In the past 10 months, I have not reached my goal, but I have come closer to the goal. I read a quote that helps me when I have a rough fitness day. "Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality."~Ralph Marston. I liked it because as a thirtysomething, I really think that to have the mental stamina to reach a fitness goal, you must realize that reality is a reflection of both the positive and negative thoughts floating around in your head. For me that means that when I am so hard on myself for not pushing myself through a workout, I have to remember that it is the doubts that are getting in the way. So, I will go and ice my tired legs and look at the picture on the refrigerator of my dream body and remind myself that it is a marathon and not a sprint with the goal of better fitness and the reality of pushing myself each and every day.